When things turn out the way you didn't expect it to be.

Well, I thought today was gonna be a great day - the skies were blue, the weather was good, I was all geared up, I didn't feel any muscle pull/cramps - but NO it wasn't. IT SUCKED BIG TIME. I need to rant about it.

"Shit," I swore out loud when Encik Musawir restricted me from joining the rest to run. I was given the wrong number, therefore, I need to get back into school to get a new number. I was on the verge of breaking down, but I swept those thoughts away and sprinted back into school to look for Puan Doris. I can tell that she was shocked. When she was giving me a new number, she asked me: "You're a runner ah?" I nodded. She screamed in shock, and told me to try to catch up with the rest. 

I ran all the way out of the school compound, with teachers throwing curious looks at each other, thinking, "Why is she starting in this category? Shouldn't she be starting earlier?" I saw Leonie running out of school, too, sprinting all the way. I heard that she was forced to stay at the canteen to do some work for a teacher. However the teacher didn't mention when was she supposed to run. Therefore both of us were late. I tried to keep up to her speed, but she was sprinting all the way. I was boiling with anger and frustration. 

As I was jogging, trying to catch up with the rest, my breathing was inconsistent. That's what led me to getting stitches. Until the pain was too much for me to bear, I walked and controlled my breathing, hoping that it will get better so that I can continue jogging to catch up with the rest of them.

After the fourth checkpoint, I started to recognize a few familiar faces from the same category. There, I saw Shauna and Jun Wei walking. The both of them exclaimed: "SUE MUN!" I didn't hear it cause I was pumping up the volume of my music player. I wasn't in the mood, I was frowning. I feel bad for frowning at them, but I was just pissed. 

I continued till I manage to see more and more familiar faces from my category. I kept going on. I wanted to catch up with the good runners in my category, but sad to say I didn't managed to do so. I caught up with Joanne on the way, knowing that she's one of the good runners. But she was having cramps, so she was walking all the way back to school. As I sped up, I saw Beatrice and Callie, walking side by side. They were cheering for me all the way.  

At the final turn, my feet is in throbbing pain. My whole body felt numb as I sprinted all my way to back to school. My breathing was out of control. I could feel the painful, stabbing feeling in my gut. But I made my way to the P1 table, and got a plain card = I managed to collect points for Purple House for Sports Day. Thank goodness for Liesl who came to my rescue to pass me her bottle as I was exhausted and thirsty. 

I made my way to the half-filled canteen. I couldn't hold it back anymore. 

I. Cried. Like. A. Sore. Loser.

But, I shouldn't have cried. There's always next year. And there's Sports Day to come. I'm grateful that Liesl, Beat, Yune-Lynn, Shauna, Jun Wei, sis, Callie, Rushan, Hui Xian and other peeps who were there comforting me. I feel so... disappointed. I know that numbers and ranking doesn't matter, but you know, in this case, it really does matters after all. My goal this year was to prove to someone that I could do better than what that someone thinks. BUT, no. That's why I was disappointed. So f***ing pissed.

*sigh* Oh well, at least I'm feeling better now. After crying for like, 15 minutes or so? Cause I definitely know that I cried for a long time.   (:

Ah... the number that I eventually ran with.

P.S. Just so you know, I'm not always like that. If you know me for quite some time, you'll know that I'm those kind who always look on the brighter side of things, cause we only live once, and we should cherish the one life that we're living. 

P.P.S. I'm sorry that this is a rant post, but I'm just pissed. Expect happier posts the next time I blog.  (:

.smun.